If men really ruled the world
"Cops" would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the
pursuing cops... Or to the crooks.
"Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an
acceptable excuse for tardiness.
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward
your call to her real number.
At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out
your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into
your car like Fred Flintstone.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice
hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the
pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.
Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style.
Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL
team of your choice.
Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."
Garbage would take itself out.
Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your
wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you
returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
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